Real Life, NOT Hollywood

I went to see Wonder today. It was hands-down the most brutal thing I've ever watched. Other than the real life version of it.

It was a beautiful movie. With beautiful and tremendous actors. Telling a beautiful story.

But for some, it is not a story. No actors. No set to arrive to every day to play the part. No hours of make-up to create a movie. No sad turned happy story. No going home and leaving it behind. REAL LIFE. And that's what I want people to know.

When you are watching it, remember that there are kids who go through this every single day of their life. Families who walk, and sometimes crawl, this journey sure as you breathe to live. Stares, pointing fingers, whispers, giggles. Looks of horror. Double and triple takes. Bullying. This is their every day life. Every. Single. Day.

We know. Because we are one of those families. I am Julia Roberts; minus the beauty and money, of course. The hospital bands. I KNOW that. Auggie walking into middle school for the first time, while mom watches with her heart in her throat. I KNOW that. Sitting alone at home eating lunch, not knowing how the first day of middle school was going. I KNOW that. Trying to calm a frantic Auggie without knowing what happened to upset him. I KNOW that. Trying to convince your child that he is beautiful when he clearly thinks otherwise. I KNOW that. Realizing you've had to put your other child on hold too many times. I KNOW that. Losing the dog that has been there for every illness and surgery. I KNOW that. The joy and relief to know your child has found a true friend. I KNOW that. Because this movie is our life.

The author of Wonder was in an ice cream shop with her two children. One started crying at the sight of a craniofacial child. To make the situation go away quickly, she gathered her boys and left. And she regretted that moment the whole way home. She hated that she didn't stop and introduce herself to the child and family, introduce her boys. She began writing Wonder that night. And by doing so, she opened up this life to you, to the world. She pulled on my heartstrings of awareness and acceptance. And I hope she will pull on yours.

If there is one thing I could change about the movie, and there is only one thing I could think of to change, it would be that they cast a craniofacial child to play Auggie. Because it would have made it even more real. Because make-up does not compare. Because there is a little boy somewhere that would have loved that opportunity. Regardless of my wish, Jacob rocked the role.

If you haven't seen it yet, go. Take your kids. Cry. Then talk. Guide them to be like Summer and Jack Will. And Andrea and Carson. And Maggie, Cameron, and Kylie. And Brad and Megan. And Riley and Morgan. Who all surrounded Kennedy today as she watched and cried. Teach them that this is not Hollywood. Teach them to accept. To look inside. To love. And to stand up. Because no matter how strong these kids are? They need their friends.

I was lucky enough to be in between two of my favorite ladies - one who has been on this journey with us since Kennedy was 2 and the other since first grade. And so many others were sending me love when they knew I would be falling apart. They were crying with me, and loving me during the hardest scenes. It was brutal, that's the word that comes to mind. I am emotionally drained and have nothing left. My discussion with Kennedy will happen later; we both need to process it more. We both need it to be less raw.

Wonder. This is real life. Our life.