To Know Kennedy Like I Know Kennedy

Due to the subject of this blog, my posts are not all happy events. Afterall, I'm hoping I can help others on a similar journey (or anyone who needs an inspiration) and sugarcoating things would not be helpful. And I realize that a lot of people reading my blog have never actually met Kennedy. And even if you have met her, or know her, chances are you don't know the real Kennedy. Bottom line is I don't want anyone inferring from my posts that Kennedy is a sad/unhappy/depressed/pitiful little girl who leads an awful life. So in this post, you're going to learn who Kennedy is. The real Kennedy. My Kennedy.

Our favorite and most used motto is: LIFE SUCKS SOMETIMES. Because frankly, it does. But in between those sucky times, Kennedy is an awesome child who has an awesome life. 

She is funny. She has a sense of humor that rivals her sister's. She is a genius at sarcasm, which can often get her in trouble. There are times when I'm trying to scold or correct her about it and Katie is on the other side of the room laughing hysterically. Let me just say that it is sometimes hard to keep a straight face. And laughter is always the best medicine. 

She is smart. She has always been ahead of her class which makes liking school a challenge. She scored as one of the highest students in the school on her end-of-grade tests last year. You show her or tell her something once and she has it down. She sees a word once and most likely will never spell it wrong again. Academics seem to come naturally to her. She is currently in the AG math program and bummed that she didn't get accepted for AG reading (she scored perfectly on comprehension but due to her facial paralysis and tongue/palate issues, she can not read fast aloud and this hurt her). She isn't one to brag about any of this and that makes me even prouder of her. More than anything, this aspect of Kennedy gives me peace. Because for all else she has against her, being smart can only take her far.

She is loving and caring. She is the first to give a hug or kiss when needed. She still likes to cuddle. She doesn't like when people are sick or hurting. She loves to love on babies...if there is a baby around, that's probably where you'll find her. She'll be a great babysitter in a few years. 

She is shy. If she doesn't know you, good luck getting more out of her than a word or two in response to your words. She has a hard time making eye contact with adults and others who she doesn't know. New situations make her nervous, although she claims they don't. If you knew her as a baby, then you know that she has come a looooooong way compared to how shy she was in her younger days. Although we continue to work on being shy versus being rude. Both her mom and sister are somewhat shy as well, so I don't have a lot of hope that she'll someday completely grow out of this :). 

She has an attitude. I think part of it comes with the age, but part of it comes from her life experiences. Because an attitude can help her get through some tough times, it is a fine balance of allowing her to express herself but not going too far. And as much as her attitude can drive me crazy, it is nowhere near the depth of her sister's attitude at that age. :)

She is modest and unassuming. When someone says that she is their hero, she doesn't get it. She doesn't see why people think she is an inspiration. She feels that she has no choice, she gets through the sucky parts in life, and then it is behind her. What's the big deal?

She is strong. And her strength covers all aspects: physical, mental, emotional. That isn't to say that she doesn't have cracks in her armor. But let me tell you, she wears some pretty hefty armor. She's been through more in her nine years that most of us ever will: 14 surgeries to date, multiple hospital stays, numerous life-threatening infections, several chronic illnesses, hearing loss, speech impediment, and the list goes on. And somehow, she just keeps truckin'.

She is brave. The challenges she faces are never easy. And although she may first meet them with tears, she meets them head-on. Awhile back I posted a picture of Kennedy wearing a shirt that said "No excuses. Just do it." This is truly the epitome of who she is.

She never complains. I know this is hard for some people to believe but it couldn't be more true. And I've learned through her how to be less of a complainer. Although, it can also be frustrating as her mom. The only way that I know she has one of her migraines is that she gets quiet and her cheeks turn bright red. I only know her back is hurting (scoliosis/kyphosis) is if she starts stretching with a pained look on her face. When in the hospital, it is a game of 20 questions to try and get her to say what is wrong. Only once in her nine years has she asked the "why me?" question. Her MO is to suck it up, get through it, and get it behind her. It is just who she is. I really wish I could be more like her in this regard.

She loves to travel. Like her older sister, she has been bitten by the travel bug. And Ryan and I are always up for a trip. I have to say that watching a child die (and again, luckily brought back to life) makes one realize to seize the moment and we do that a lot with family trips. Kennedy has had a crappy 2011 medical-wise, but she's also cruised the Caribbean, visited NASA, spent two and half weeks at different beaches, and seen Niagara Falls. She's now pushing a Disney World trip...always ready to escape reality!

She loves to be a kid. American Girl dolls, swimming, basketball, Wii games, card games, board games, DS games, arts and crafts, riding her bike, playing on a beach, reading, being with friends, Hurricanes hockey. These are the things that fill her time. 

She can be bitter. Like I said earlier, I won't sugarcoat. She may never complain, but she does harbor some bitterness. This usually shines through after a major medical event, but there are other times when it comes through loud and clear. Luckily, I've learned how to read her and can usually get her to open up to me and talk through her issues. Sometimes this is harder than pulling teeth, but I can be persistent. And honestly, aren't we all allowed bad days/bad moods/bitterness sometimes? I think if I walked in her shoes, I'd be bitter more often.

But most of all, she's just a happy child. I don't worry about her well-being or her reactions to difficult situations. Because underneath of all is a happy child and once the current hell is over, that's the Kennedy who will win.

She is who she is, who she wants to be. She's my gym shorts, t-shirt, and ponytail child. You'll never catch her in a dress (unless she's been forced totally against her will). No one will ever accuse her of being a girly-girl and she doesn't apologize for that. Her room isn't painted pink but rather covered with hockey and space posters. She wants to be an astronaut when she grows up and is sure that she doesn't want to do anything that would put her working in a hospital. 

She may not sound like other kids when she talks, she may only be able to hear you from a box on the side of her head, her life may be different than yours. Yes, her medical life has helped shape who she is. But it doesn't define who she is. In fact, Kennedy is pretty adamant that she is not defined by anything. She is just Kennedy, girl extraordinaire. 

ps - This post still doesn't do justice in telling you who she is. She is so much more than these words. If you want to add more about who she is to you, add a comment!

(NEXT BLOG: A Support System Like No Other)