A Fork in the Ear Journey Road

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference." (RF)
This line from Robert Frost is one that sums up how I feel about the road that we ended up taking in our journey for an ear. Many people would stick with comfort, what they have known for years and years. Our safe road, the road traveled most often, was to stick with our plastic surgeon at UNC. Even though I knew he wasn't a good fit for us, he was still a qualified doctor, a doctor who has followed Kennedy for seven entire years at that point. Her entire life.

But I listened to my instincts. And now I know why. Because it has made all the difference. By this time, the social worker on our craniofacial team had become my sounding board, my friend. She knew I wasn't happy with the UNC plastic surgeon. She knew I refused to allow Kennedy to have surgery at UNC and that I was wary of the process of a UNC doctor operating at another local hospital. She knew I needed to continue on with our journey outside of the UNC Craniofacial Center.

So she put us in touch with UNC's medical artist, a person who specializes in making prosthetic appendages. He was a renowned medical artist, even well-known for making prosthetics for Hollywood. So we met with him with renewed hope. And the first thing he says to us is that he doesn't know why we are there, he wouldn't even think of touching Kennedy till she was at least 13. And because our chart says no surgeries at UNC, he just couldn't help us. I could say that I left that appointment insulted, but frankly I just left pissed off.

A prosthetic was already near the bottom of my list of options. We were really hoping for something that was part of her, something that couldn't be taken off or fall off. And this guy surely turned me against the prosthetic world totally. I realize now that my emotions of this one visit probably clouded this option for us but hindsight is 20/20 (trust me, I know by way too many experiences).

And so my frantic search began. I emailed plastic surgeons from various top hospitals. I looked at picture after picture of their before/after work. I researched using rib grafts vs. using a synthetic frame. I researched every option until I was just exhausted.

I think this is when my mental exhaustion finally kicked in. Have you ever done so much research on something, and found so many options, that you were just overwhelmed and more confused than when you started? This is also when everything became so real and the only thing that my mind kept coming back to was the motto I will repeat every day of my life until I die: NO MOTHER SHOULD HAVE TO DECIDE WHAT HER CHILD'S FACE IS GOING TO LOOK LIKE.

And then it slapped me in the face...we have one of the best hospitals in the world in our backyard. And their plastic surgeon is considered one of the best from all that I've read. Why not take the road less traveled by and try someone else local, someone brand new? And so on September 3rd, 2009, a few months after Kennedy turned 7 years old, we made the trek to Duke Children's Clinic and met with Dr. Jeffrey Marcus, chief pediatric plastic surgeon. And that has made all the difference.

(NEXT BLOG: The Backstory. You'll notice that this blog goes back and forth and forgive me for the volleying. But I tell it in the way it makes sense to me. :)