I went to church this weekend. Those who know me know that I do not like organized religion and will only find me in church for four different occasions:
1. Someone is getting married or someone died.
2. It is midnight on Christmas (the Midnight Mass at Catholic church is a tradition that I love).
3. I respect that my dad wishes his children went to church and go with him (mainly just to hear him sing in the choir).
4. I respect that both my father-in-law and brother-in-law are pastors and go if one of them is preaching.
I was raised Catholic and was expected to attend church every weekend. And I did, without too much complaining. And I attended lots of other churches too - with friends, with other family. But by the time I was in high school, and certainly in college and beyond, I recognized that organized religion - any kind of it - was not something that I wanted to be part of. This recognition only strengthens over time.
For those who do want to be part of it, I truly respect that. I respect those who find comfort in God, Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Spaghetti God (you know who you are) or any other deity that they worship and believe in. I respect those who go to church every weekend and find peace there. I respect those who love their church family as much as or more than their biological family. I respect those that pray for healing and peace and comfort. I respect those who pray for our family on this journey and I will accept any prayers said for us. This country was founded in freedom of religion, and I respect that.
And I respect those who do not believe in God or heaven or hell or religion. And I never assume that I know the beliefs or faith of anyone else. I recently read an article that noted "For those grieving without God...your non-religious path is every bit as valid and beautiful and true as those with a belief in God." And I couldn't agree more. They are not hurting more or in need of more prayer because they don't believe in a higher being, or know what that higher being might be. They do not need to be saved or converted or made to see the light. They need as much respect for their beliefs, than the person sitting next to you in church needs.
Very, very few people know what my true religious beliefs are, where my faith lies. For me, it is a personal matter and no one's business. I can tell you that they changed drastically 15.5 years ago and continue to change. I can tell you that with tomorrow's Duke appointment facing us (and then most likely a consult with Boston Children's), church was the last place I should have been on Sunday. The ocean is my place of peace and comfort. I pray to guardian angels. I don't believe in the platitudes of - if he brings you to it he will bring you through it, there is a reason that we just don't see yet, there's a bigger plan at work here, etc. And that's all you'll ever know.
So when someone said to me recently: "Thank God that you have Him on your side. He will make it all well and she'll be okay in the end," -- that it may be their belief that this is true, but it is not my belief. He cannot make it all well. We don't even know if a doctor can. No one knows that she will be okay. If we don't get her skeleton under control, it will kill her eventually. And the truth is, had I said this aloud, I would have been met with pity instead of respect. Which I do not need.
Choose kind. Love more, judge less.
(And obviously this is a recurring theme: https://anearforkgg.blogspot.com/2016/04/i-hate.html)
