But honestly, I hit the proverbial wall. I was done. Over and out concerning all things medical (or at least the things I could easily ignore). This journey has been exhausting, to say the least. Physically, mentally, emotionally. Sometimes stepping away from it all - from thinking about, from remembering it, from talking about it - is the only way to be able to climb over and conquer that wall.
Getting the ear was a huge deal, as I knew it would be. It took time for Kennedy to get used to it...it felt weird, it made her sweat and itch, and it changed the way she looked. All overwhelming for an eleven-year old. Being a prosthetic, she had the choice of wearing it or not wearing it and for most of the summer, she chose the latter. On top of trying to get used to it, we also had issues with it staying on. She would work up her courage to wear it out, she would open her jaw, and it would pop right off. Not the easiest scenario for a little (overwhelmed) girl to handle. This wasn't to say she didn't like it, or wasn't happy with it. It was just too much for awhile.
In the midst of all of this, Kennedy was facing the daunting challenge of starting middle school. We all remember those days, no? Sigh. But she made the decision that she chose to get the ear for school and by darn, she was going to wear it to school. So off we go to middle school orientation. The first time she's wearing the ear in front of all of her friends. We're in the middle of the auditorium waiting for the program to begin, surrounded by hundreds of other sixth graders and their parents. Kennedy turns around quickly to look for someone...and off pops the ear. She grabs it quickly and stuffs it into my purse, with tears in her eyes. She had steeled herself to attend orientation with two ears. And now, she was having to change her mindset in the middle of it all. I left her there for the student-only portion and I went home and cried. Because at some point, this child deserves a break on this journey for an ear. I mean, is that too much to ask? But she courageously got through the rest of orientation with no problem.
Our awesome anaplastologist worked us in the next day and was able to do some revisions to the ear to stop the popping off. I wasn't sure if this would be enough for Kennedy to try again. I mean honestly, I think I would have given up at this point. But we all know that Kennedy is tougher than I will ever be. And on the first day of school, she asked me to pull her hair up in a ponytail and put her ear on for school. That's my girl! Talk about a looooong day of worrying for this Mama!
But all was well. No one said anything to Kennedy about her new ear and that's just the way she wanted it to go. I came home to an email from the mom of one of her best friend's...she told her mom all about Kennedy's new ear but she knew Kennedy didn't want her to point it out at school. Have I mentioned how awesome Kennedy's friends are? To date, there has been only one incident at school with the ear. Her shoulder hit it in PE class one day and it popped off. The two girls she was playing basketball with didn't say a word, just kept on playing. And Kennedy got through the rest of the day like the strong soul that she is.
I cannot put into words what Kennedy's new ear has done to her confidence level. We all know Kennedy and know she could get through anything, with or without an ear. But it has given her exactly what she needs as she embarks on her new chapter of life. As of right now, she is only sporting two ears for school and that's okay. That's why she wanted it, that's why she chose this route. And I think she is just so comfortable in every other aspect of her life that she doesn't need it to boost her confidence outside of school. But it has truly been a blessing every Monday through Friday.
I wish I could say that's the end, amen. But as I type, we've been dealing with some issues surrounding the prosthetic posts for a couple of weeks now. The anaplastologist hasn't seen a patient with these issues before (leave it to Kennedy!) and so we're heading to the ENT on Monday to see if there is an internal infection. As you can imagine, this would not be a good thing. If that's the case, I'm not sure what it will mean for Kennedy or the future of the ear. And if there isn't an infection, and they can't figure out what is causing the current issues, I'm also not sure what that will mean for the future of the ear. Best case scenario is that there is no internal infection (and we're not admitted to the hospital!) and that they can easily help us fix the issue so she can continue wearing it to school everyday with no problems. We won't voice worst case scenario because frankly, I just can't go there. If I've learned anything on this journey, it is to never take anything for granted and to know that the other shoe can drop at any moment. We just hope that shoe stays on for now.
So, I ask once again...keep my girl in your thoughts and prayers. She's made it so far on this journey, overcome so many challenges. We were on such a good path with two ears. Please, please let that path continue...
